


After the Fall

by Lucifers_Trash_Stash



Category: The Devil's Carnival (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, References to Depression, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-09-12 05:56:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16867396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifers_Trash_Stash/pseuds/Lucifers_Trash_Stash
Summary: A series of short fics revolving around Charlotte's torment in Hell and the discovery of an unlikely companion in the Devil himself.





	1. After the Fall

**Author's Note:**

> This particular chapter was requested with the prompt "Look at me.”  
> 3 prompts were requested for Lucifer on my tumblr (@lucifers-trash-stash) and I will be using all 3 to create one running narrative. This series is mostly for me to deal with some of my personal feelings so this fic might get very deep and depressing. Either way, I hope you stick around and enjoy <3

Self loathing. Anxiety. Fear. All afflictions that caused me to suffer throughout my life on Earth and followed me to the grave. To Hell. Where I am forced to experience torment again and again, reliving all of my regrets. I couldn’t push them back into my brain and leave them for later. They played throughout the hours I was here. I couldn’t turn them off.

My fingers wrapped around my shoulders, my body hunched over. My forehead pressed against the ground and my nostrils inhaled the rich earthy scent. I hiccupped through the thick tears that clouded my vision. My body shook violently with each sob. Nothing could be done to console me. My mind was too far gone, scrambling to try to find order in the Hell I had found myself in.

I had played along for a while. Did what was expected of me. Tried not to crack. But there is only so much one person can stand.

There I was, knelt on the ground with my legs beneath me as I cried into the soil and tried to forfeit. They had won. I didn’t want to play anymore. I couldn’t do it.

It hadn’t taken long after I crumpled onto the ground that my tormentors left me. I was alone for a brief while, my cries ringing in my ears. My breaths were erratic, and if I didn’t stop myself soon then I would likely begin to hyperventilate. But I couldn’t focus on calming down. I was too far gone.

Long fingers ran through my hair, causing me to jolt in alarm and attempt to push myself further into the ground. I whimpered through the sobs as my heart began to race. My tormentors were back, I needed to run.

And yet, the fingers were soothing, long nails gently running down the back of my neck. The motion continued for a moment before a familiar voice rumbled softly above me, “So you have given up?”

I knew it was him. I hadn’t seen him in the flesh and yet I had heard his melodious voice around every corner. So warm and inviting, it was hard not to be swayed by the devilishly debonair ring leader’s voice. The chills that ran down my spine from hearing him were of intermingled fear and desire. One could not exist without the other when it came to him.

I shook my head against the ground, not being able to muster a response to him. He tutted, tapping his index finger against my neck. “Is that not what brought you to us in the first place? Giving up?”

A long sob left my mouth in response. He hummed thoughtfully, waiting patiently for a lull in my crying. Finally, he prodded further, “How do you expect to continue on like this? Drowning in the past and the woes of what may or may not ever come?”

“I- I can’t,” I stammered, trying to spit out the words. “I can’t do it. I’m broken.”

“There is no such thing as broken here, my dear. Only those that choose to relieve their mistakes again and again when they should know better.” His fingers trailed down the side of my face towards my dampened cheek. “You know better, don’t you?”

I shook my head. In a slightly amused tone, he continued, “No? Come now, I can’t tell if you’re stubborn or simply have a that low of an opinion of yourself.”

“No matter how hard I try, I can’t do it.” My voice cracked as I struggled to speak up. “I can’t stop worrying about what others think about me. I can’t help being nice to people who can’t give me the same courtesy back. I can’t stand up for myself because I don’t deserve it. I’m not worth it.”

Lucifer’s fingers curled around my chin, and tilted upwards as he growled, “Look at me.” I allowed myself to gaze up at him for the first time, my eyes widening as I took him in. He had been kneeling down beside me this entire time, the devil kneeling to me of all people. The expression behind the pale makeup over his face was stern, and yet there was a soft kindness behind his eyes. His red fingers stroked my chin affectionately, keeping my face tilted just inches away from his. He smelled of fire and smoke and spice all at once, lighting my senses ablaze. I knew now why everyone warned of being led astray by Lucifer, he was simply too alluring to ignore.

“Is that what they teach you on Earth? To fill your head with lies about needing to prove your worth? To dangle basic necessities such as compassion right above your nose until they see fit that you’ve served your role well enough to deserve it?” Lucifer tilted his head forward, his eyes never once leaving mine as his lips grew closer and closer to mine. “That is not how things are done here. You are not some puppet playing into their games, you are your own woman. A woman far too lovely to have so little faith in herself.”

A fresh tear rolled down my cheek as I pursed my lips together to prevent myself from wailing again. Wasn’t the devil supposed to tear me down? Destroy my sense of being in one fell swoop? Instead he was praising me, telling me that I was worth more than I ever allowed myself to believe. And I so desperately wanted to believe.

He slowly pulled me to my feet, never once allowing his hold on my chin to falter or his eye contact to break. My body pressed against his, he leaned down further to compensate for his height. “Now isn’t the time for tears. Now is the time to rebuild. To reclaim that which was stolen from you. To truly live again.” His lips drew closer, just lightly grazing my own and sparking my body to life again. He whispered against me, “I believe in you.”

I tilted towards him as he drew back from me, smirking at what I assumed was the look of disappointment that crossed my face. He held his hand out to me, offering me a lifeline. As I placed my fingers in his, he curled his around them and told me in a reassuring tone, “It’s always prettiest after the fall.”

It was then I knew I would follow this being wherever he had to lead me. I wanted to prove myself. I wanted to show everyone what I was capable of. And as I walked hand in hand with him, I knew that he would help me do just that.


	2. Grief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another self-indulgent angsty fic coming fresh out of the oven for y'all. This one was written with the prompt “That’s just how the story goes." I hope you enjoy <3

Grief. It was all I felt anymore. Often I wouldn’t leave the room that Lucifer provided for me. On those days my limbs felt heavy. Like I was weighed down by unseen forces bent on running amok in my mind. They would tear me down and leave me in a heap, sobbing and desperately wishing I could be someone else. Someone who would be able to handle this better.

Even so, that didn’t stop the Devil’s visits. Some days he would talk me through my grief, others his hand would trace along my back in a comforting gesture. He had also begun to leave things for me that would occupy my mind while I stayed there. Books, pen and paper, yarn and needles. Things that kept my mind and hands occupied for long enough to try to escape my thoughts.

But those were only methods of distraction. The intrusive thoughts always lingered under the surface, never truly disappearing.

Now, his hand hovered over my neck as he rocked me gently, humming a beautiful melody I could barely hear over my sobs. My face pressed against his chest, no doubt ruining his jacket with all my tears. My hands clutched to him for dear life, the fear that if I let go he would disappear. His thumb rubbed gentle circles against the base of my neck, with his other arm wrapped around my lower back as he held me close to him. 

“Aren’t you sick of me yet?” I sobbed.

“And why would you think that?”

I hiccupped. “Because everyone is. Because all I am is a burden and I just annoy everyone by being upset.”

Lucifer clicked his tongue. “Come now, my dear. Speaking in absolutes again.”

“But it’s true.”

“It isn’t.” He brushed my hair back with his fingers. “There are certainly many who care about your well being. Past and present. Myself included.”

I lifted my head up to look at him. “But you sit here every day with me and listen to me cry. There are better things you could do.”

A rich chuckle filled my ears. “I assure you, my dear, that you are the highlight of my days.” He brushed stray tears away with a swipe of his thumb. “To be able to see the smile you give me after your tears have passed makes it all worth it.”

“You’re just saying that.”

Lucifer leaned forward slightly, pressing his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes and longed for him to be closer, though I knew he wouldn’t. He knows that every touch of his sparks a fire within me, but he’s explained many times that he would never take advantage of me when I’m in such a vulnerable state. 

“Have I ever lied to you thus far?” He asked, his whisper sending tingles down my spine.

“No.”

“Then trust me.” He drew his head back enough to press a kiss to my tear stained cheek. 

I opened my eyes. “That’s harder than you think.”

A small smile flit across his face. “That’s just how the story goes, my dear. And while you know I’m not a strong proponent of blind faith, I feel like I have demonstrated my dedication to your well being many times over.”

I nodded gently. He cupped my face in his large hand and continued, “Each step is harder than the last. But I will be here every step of the way. When you need support, I will be standing beside you. You know this.”

Tears threatened to spill again. I didn’t understand why anyone cared so much about me. It’s why when anyone admits that they even like me I burst into happy tears. That it proves that someone thinks I’m worth something. Even someone like Lucifer. 

He laughed softly as he saw my tears. He brushed them away just like the others. I leaned back against him, sniffling. I mustered a small pleading voice, asking him, “Can you please stay until I fall asleep?”

“Of course,” he murmured. 

He pulled me further into his lap, allowing me to be embraced fully by him. My arms hung loosely around him, already feeling exhaustion sweeping over me. I could never tell if it was from the crying or if Lucifer was able to somehow make sleep arrive sooner. 

Either way, I felt myself drifting soon after, the sound of his humming loud in my ears as I pressed against his chest, lulled by the soft thrumming of his breaths.


End file.
